15 Mind Blowing Tips For Using Espresso To Prevent The Undead Returning From The Grave

i come to kick ass and lie on warm rock, and the heat lamp been turned off

What's a pirate's favourite alternative word for heat? 

Added ๐Ÿ to my name to try to seem more approachable.

21 seconds of giant tortoise yearlings at a breeding center. These will get released into the wild when they are big enough to have no natural predators, when they are about a foot wide.

we've upgraded your drm for you and now your 1080 television is too old to display this 1080 content. please shell out for a new scamscum smart (TM) tv complete with machine learning wifi botnet functionality

According to The Matrix, the 1990's were the peak of human civilization. 20 years later, this prediction still looks good.

mastadone is crumbling and manie blame lack of hot rock and bug

Scully cures Skinner of ghost herpes. Doggett grabs a young man suffering from evil lice angrily by the lapels.

This ad sounds like it's on mushrooms and coke.

RT @Wolfie_Rankin@twitter.com

๐Ÿฆ๐Ÿ”—: twitter.com/Wolfie_Rankin/stat

Mulder empathizes with bug-women. Smoking Man just, you know, smokes a bunch.

In tech, 'smart' refers to any device that stops working when the company that manufactures it goes out of business, regardless of what it does.

:red_mastodon: Sorry, You Must Be A Mastodon Ivoryยฎ Member To View This Toot!

:promoted: Promoted

Discover This Weird Way To Train Your Snake To Wash Your Dishes

Show more

The social network of the future: No ads, no corporate surveillance, ethical design, and decentralization! Own your data with Mastodon!