Changing email addresses is *painful* 😩

Wow, how many winks were in that tea?!

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A: Would you like to join our trolly problem experiment?
B: Yes! I'm so glad this day has come! I know exactly what choice I would make.
A: Great, just hold still while I tie you to these train tracks.
B: ... Wait, no!

"Why am i so sleepy?" i say, while drinking tea called 40 winks.

Safety first: keep your ice on the road.

The secret to patience is having a very poor memory.

I can't believe people like honey comb. I tried it, and now I can't get it out of my hair.

Product idea: 2021 planner that has TENTATIVE preprinted next to every single time slot

Cheers to all the record labels playing whack a mole with the people streaming their NYE sets

Happy New Year!

...Oh wait, it was a leap year, wasn't it?

It's amazing that people love a programming language enough to name their kids after it. You have to feel sorry for poor Java Script Bach.

i can never remember which one is marzipan and which one is mascarpone, so i just add both to every recipe.

The workweek between Christmas and New Year is the lame duck of work weeks.

Correction: It looks like that is in the Consolidated Appropriations Act, 2021

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Good news! The bipartisan coronavirus relief bill will stimulate the economy by allowing commercial use of the Smokey Bear character by repealing 18 U.S. Code § 711. See? They do care about you and your family! (it's on page 2,487 in case you are curious)

Spouse: Put water in this bottle -- two thirds full
Me (looking at the slightly cone shaped bottle): two thirds by volume or by height?
Spouse: Why are you like this?

iks boosted

"Good news: we removed all cookie banners from GitHub! 🎉"

"We find cookie banners quite irritating, so we decided to look for a solution. After a brief search, we found one: just don’t use any non-essential cookies. Pretty simple, really."

github.blog/2020-12-17-no-cook

Tired: chamomile tea
Wired: camel meal tea

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