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#DeathToAmerica - tips for dying to america 

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:oh_no: i see the item. irl i reach for the use key. irl i press the use key. in game i see my hand reach for the item. in game i see my hand pick up the item.

:blobaww: i see the item. irl i reach for the use key. irl i press the use key. in game i see the item be picked up, the pickup feedback contemporaneous with my irl kinesthetic feedback for hitting the use key.

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@velexiraptor brutalist honesty, but only in that pacific northwest style where all my very solid-looking, uncoloured and unornamented sincerity is overgrown with vines and water stains and moss

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@velexiraptor they are super goddamn aggressive in animal crossing for some reason which endlessly cracks up people who keep them

The ones I know are all "I just got fucken 360 noscoped in game by a tarantula but my actual pet is terrified of her own feet. Wtf kind of ranchos did the game devs find"

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Okay, here's the challenge. First cast someone to play you in a movie about your life, and then cast someone to play you in a movie about someone else you know's life.

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sometimes you just need coarse toilet paper. sometimes softies wont do. sometimes you need the nuclear option

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For my birthday all I want are my abscessed teeth removed :( Looking at up to $500 in extractions. I’ve basically been just powering through the impacted tooth for a year now but it’s starting to abscess and it’s getting harder and harder to deal with. I know money is tight for everyone but... (info under cut) 

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Industrial espionage, gross 

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Just imagine being the kind of person who spends all their time on the internet talking about how they hate things. It's exhausting just thinking about that.

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Sui mention, lgbt is not a choice 

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@breakfastgolem @dankwraith

[at the bank]

TELLER: “I’m sorry sir we don’t accept this” *points to a sign saying “fuck all not accepted”*

ME: *slams fist* “Dankwraith!”

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@byttyrs god is dead and nerds have replaced him with a desire for a really big computer to tell them what to do

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One of the books in the second-hand book store caught his eye. He picked it up.
"So what is your story?"
"Read me," the book said.
"No, not the story on your pages. Your story."
"My story?"
"You look like you've traveled, and been loved. Where have you been? Tell me your story."
#MicroFiction #TootFic #SmallStories

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Or when privacy activists say we should use the corporate surveillance machine for pandemic control.

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shop talk 

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scholar.social is just snouts.online for people with professorsonas

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@wigglytuffitout @jk

1. Janelle Monae
2. Janelle Datae

This checks out. It validates Extremely Grammerly.

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@Sapphicgiraffic i prefer alt-nasal drip tbh, some of the post-nasal stuff really just drags on too long

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